Expedition notes 4: Insights while running 400km
Going through my scattered notes, I realized that I acquired some rather mental and subjective lessons during this journey. They manifested and sometimes repeated on different occasions and with different intensities.
Reflecting on the changes I underwent throughout the journey, every day was more or less a tipping point. And every day, I was confirmed that the change occurred the day before. Interestingly, I didn’t realize that until I reached Zlatibor, where I was faced with the decision to stop this expedition or continue. I didn’t feel that I was tired, but my body and mind resisted moving, and I just couldn’t run. In a pretty desperate condition, disappointed in myself and my venture, I wanted to quit. During that struggle, I ran forward and walked backward. After consulting over the cellphone with my support, it cleared me that I must stick to the attitude that giving up is not an option and that there must be a solution. And there was. I decided to skip two stages, take a rest and continue the journey. Fortunately, I was ready to give up my self at that moment which was characterized by despair and vanity.
The rain was pouring, and my rest point was in the mountain village. It seems that it will also be raining the whole night and tomorrow. But somehow, I didn’t worry about tomorrow. Throughout this journey, I learned not to worry about what would happen tomorrow — understood as acquired and accepted. It turned out helpful on many occasions, particularly in nurturing the presence, as much as possible mindfully, at the moment.
Usually, when I arrive at the location (town or village), which is my checkpoint, I go to some local restaurant to have lunch. Once, while I was sitting at the restaurant eating nice and tasty local dishes and drinking homemade brandy (or cold beer), I realized that this journey is not only about running. Nor physical challenges. Nor reaching the goal. It is about the full experience of many aspects of life. And every part of this journey plays its role in the fulfillment of the experience. Or it’s a kind of package of different experiences that blend together and makes a mixture of smells, tastes, emotions, sounds, … And the only prerequisite for this fulfillment is presence. Being present mentally opens the mind to absorbing experiences. Finally, this package will be stored in memory.
When reflecting on the whole adventure, it seems that these two practices, 1) giving up things that obstruct me and 2) the presence at the moment and in the environment, were vital in my endeavor.
